Acceptance

As I sat at the table with my mug of tea and my chocolate digestive the warm sun caught the side of my face. The room was filled with chatter and laughter, that was nice.  Oh no there was that one chap sobbing – oh that s not so nice.  Well one out of 20ish isn’t so bad is it.

The soft tinkle of the bell indicated it was all about to begin.  Ok so what was that? oh….One at a time they were introducing themselves and saying… oh wow that actually happens. Ok so one by one round the table. Very seriously and with commitment one by one uniformly in rhythm like a well rehearsed choir one by one each person introduces themselves.

A chain reaction that got closer and closer to me I could feel my heart thump louder and louder. A soft smile from across the room couldn’t still my nerves.  Closer and closer until – oh no me… its me now.  

OK just do it Lucy just introduce yourself.  You know it’s the truth so why is it so hard to say.  As I pause everyone sits patiently – they have seen this before. A newcomer to the group, the nerves and the admitance. A friendly face next to me touches my hand and says, “you can say pass if you’re not ready”

NOT READY – are you kidding me. No I am ready but the words are still stuck in my mouth.  Ok deep breath, in out in out.  Right let’s do it.

“Hi my name is Lucy, and I am an alcoholic…”