Day 1033

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Ever get one of the those days where you feel like you are riding a roller coaster. Well today has been one of them.

Today all started out pretty well, I woke up in a positive mood.

Last week I bought the “perfect” moleskin note-book and a pen and while I was on the train this morning I got out my perfect moleskin book and started writing.  I had an idea last night for a story and it was based on someone I knew, that’s ok isn’t it?? All writing is taken from real life and characters based on people we knew??  (check me out saying im a writer).  Well when I started the story did just flow  and I ended up writing about 6 pages.  I havent read it back yet but hopefully when I do I’ll be as happy.

I arrive in london and work me kicked in and the frustration and annoyance of the twists and turns of the corporate world started again.  I seem to get incredibly annoyed very quickly.

I used to enjoy the dance that was my sales environment, the twists and turns of relationships and “one up-manship” that always went on.  Now though I could feel stress rising inside and met people I really couldn’t be bothered to meet. As well as this people  who I used to pursue I saw, but I felt pretty indifferent.  I should caveat all this by stating I was at a trade show.

Every corner meant another ex colleague with a gossipy tale to tell – this is not good for my head. I could feel the tension build and stress rise.  Luckily I don’t want to drink any more i just don’t want to be part of  this world.  My head is screaming inside “I want out” There and then I have this idea that i will hand my notice in, drama like that is so much part of my old behaviour that even that doesn’t sit comfortably with me.

Luckily I’m in no position to act on my feelings so just decided to leave, always have an exit strategy, so that gave me time to digest and then get to the train. While on the train I had an idea for a short story so started writing that.  So now, I am not sure how this works, I get a flash of inspiration of how to handle my work dilemma. As a result I have now put some actions in place,  sent out a couple of emails and whoosh – it’s all in motion.  Meeting tomorrow where I will out line my plan and fingers crossed it all goes OK and is well received.  If not I just keep doing what I am doing till I find something else.  No drama required.

This evening I have read a blog by Graeme Shimmin and he stated that when writing on a PC you should turn off spell check and just write.  This is good advise indeed as I very easily get distracted by looking at spelling and double checking what I have written, it spoils the flow.  Maybe that is why handwriting it good as you would have to start all over again.

So as you can see all in all quite a random day but handled and I am writing this feeling quite chilled and blessed, even though my dog is destroying a cushion and there if fluff all over the floor

The writing, not shouting at the dog and the bravery, even the part where I slowed down and thought…. all down to AA and my new-found sobriety.

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