When someone joins us the pain in their eyes in undenyable, but over time it is an amazing site to see this lift.
I sense that the first year pattern is a little like
- more pain
- bit crazy
- ……… wow I just did a year
We seem to alway strive for perfection and that need to have each day as the perfect day. As we seem to spend a huge amount of time looking at our part in various events, and rightly so, we then beat ourselves up for every little flaw in our day.
Talking with someone last night really made me think about this. She was telling me about all the mistakes she had made in that one day and was pretty tough on herself about how her life had turned out. When I asked her how long she was sober she said 11 weeks. WOW eleven weeks – why do we not see that as an amazing achievement. Even when I pointed this out to her I could see it still never quite sunk in.
Why is it we cannot see our accomplishments, I am just under two years and eleven months and I still don’t recognise how far I have come some days. I am the first person to tell people to be kind to themselves, to take it easy, to say its ok to have a rubbish day – not every day for everyone is skipping through a field of flowers on a warm summer day (dont think I have ever done that mind you).
We have days where we feel a bit off, where things don’t work out how we would like them and that is OK. Somehow our brains seem to want to catastrophise everything. Then the big stick comes out and we batter ourselves with it and analyse and over think. On a good day we can then float through telling everyone else how easy this is and how amazing life it, a life beyond our wildest dream (god I hate that phrase).
Anyway I guess the point of todays ramblings is that you are ok; we got you so just keep putting one foot in front of the other and it will be the way the universe has decided.