Day 1125

Well that’s it done, celebrations are over and we are now into January and normality.  It’s a couple of weeks until I start my new job so I am doing what I can to make the most of my free time until then.  Sobriety has taught me to be grateful for everything I have and to live in the day and enjoy it.  I am pausing regularly to look around me and appreciate all that I have.

Last night I had the honour of talking to some people in very early recovery and they were in a treatment centre. It reminded me of the rawness of those early days of giving up, how painful it is and how some people treat it so differently.  There was the usual personalities; the quiet one, the one that was fixed in 15 days and then everything in between. It was fascinating to watch and I could see a bit of myself in every single one of them.

They were so raw that I didn’t feel worthy enough of telling them my story, some of them had been to jail and they were all cross addicted to drugs. My story is quite tame in comparison.  Nevertheless I shared my story, stuck to my addiction and the facts, I kept it simple.

Once I was finished it was an honour to hear them share back to me and that they resonated with so much that I had said.  The basic facts are that an addict is an addict and no matter how hard or not our lives have been that one fact resonates with us all.  The basic matter of adding alcohol to our bodies causes that craving and the inability to stop ties us all together as a community.

I am not sure if I was lucky or not to find rehab, as I believed that was a safe place to get sober.  Interesting they found it as hard as I did, there was nothing stopping them walking out that front door and buying a drink, yet they didn’t.  They were genuine nice people just doing their best to get their lives together and that resonated with me massively.

As much as we can try to reason, justify and explain this illness the facts are that we cannot. I am an alcoholic and I can accept that now and by accepting it I will keep getting better one day at a time.

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