Day 1349

I went out this week.  I went out and met my friend for a drink in a bar.  Shocking as that sounds what I did discover is that that word drink means a lot more than just alcohol.  If you say you are going for a drink that does cover a large number of beverages hot, cold, alcoholic or non alcoholic.

I started the evening with two pints of soda water and lime, then had a coffee and then a glass of water.  All in all you can say that I had a couple of pints but again what does saying this stir in your mind.

The evening was spent in a bar, unfortunately these are the only places where you can meet and chat with a friend without ordering food, in order to stay out till that time in the evening.  We sat in a cosy corner while locals all came in and jammed and we listened to some great music and caught up on our lives since we last saw each other. It was a lovely evening.

As an alcoholic I have the assumption that everyone who drinks alcohol drinks how I would drink.  My night out confirmed to me that this is most definitely not the case. Some people popped in for one, some people had soft drinks and well others I didn’t really notice as they were not drunk or causing a scene or drawing any attention to themselves.  We were a group of adults in a room making a choice and having a nice evening.  Its very important we don’t judge people who don’t have to make a conscious choice.

Whilst I appreciate its not easy for everyone to sit in a pub I do believe that my recovery is a bridge to normal living and that means I can make a choice to meet a friend in a bar.  I still wouldn’t choose any bar but am sure to go somewhere where I feel I can be safe, as well as being with safe people.

“Working hard on my recovery had meant that today I can look alcohol in the eye and make a choice and that choice is my sobriety.”

If I had chosen an alcoholic drink I would not have been able to stick with just one.  I know that I would have drank too much too quickly I would have probably started being over enthusiastic about the music and probably tried to join in. I would have ruined and disrupted the whole evening and I would have make enough of a fool of myself that I would never go back, and possible isolate from my friend.

All of this would probably have happened in blackout so I would never really know the facts of the evening and would have pretended that it was funny and it was everyone else’s problem.

Whilst I stood at the bar contemplating whether to have a cola or a soda water I have a routine and this is where I take my head. I play the tape and make a choice.  As a result of that choice I  had a lovely evening with a good friend and heard some good music an

Why on earth would I chose any other option now…