So today I woke up feeling truly grateful as on this day 4 years ago my life was in a very different state. You see on this day 4 years ago I truly hit my rock bottom! I awoke in my own bed but my head was in a bad way both physically and emotionally and this was all down to alcohol.
On this morning I made a decision to call AA as I was truly broken. The evening before my drinking had gotten so out of hand that I had a concussion and a potential cracked skull, I was totally alone and in total confusion as to how it had all gotten this bad.
Up until this point alcohol confused me, one minute it was fun the next it was a disaster. How on earth had it got a grip of me like this, how had I lost myself to this inanimate object that I loved and hated so much, all at the same time.
On the morning of the 5th December 2015 I knew I had had enough and needed help. I couldnt battle this demon on my own any more and I needed help.
Most people will villify the addict but actually what I needed most in that moment was some love and understanding, someone to suport my decision in how I wanted to live my life and show me a way to see that it was all going to be ok.
Today I have awoke a truly grateful alcoholic as I have all of that in abundance and more besides so thank you all so much for all your love and support.
A NEW STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS
He has been granted a gift which amounts to a new state of consciousness and being.—
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 107
Many of us in A.A. puzzle over what is a spiritual awakening. I tended to look for a miracle, something dramatic and earth-shattering. But what usually happens is that a sense of well-being, a feeling of peace, transforms us into a new level of awareness. That’s what happened to me. My insanity and inner turmoil disappeared and I entered into a new dimension of hope, love and peace. I think the degree to which I continue to experience this new dimension is in direct proportion to the sincerity, depth and devotion with which I practice the Twelve Steps of A.A.
From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.